How To Tell Your Spouse Your Wants & Needs…About Remodeling

House remodeling is tricky territory. There are so many factors to consider before finally hiring interior designers and contractors, from figuring out the big things like budget to deciding upon the nitty-gritty details like flooring, finishes, and paint color.

It gets trickier when there are two people involved in the decision-making.

When you and your spouse decide to take on the project together, you can expect minor misunderstandings and mini fiascos if you can’t communicate.

What are the questions you need to both ask your designers when pursuing a remodeling project? What are the things around your house that you want to change? You’d be surprised—what you love may be something that your partner sort of hates.

Here is where the experts come into play. The designers at HartmanBalwdin have been around the block before and have seen plenty of couples get blindsided due to a lack of communication. They’ve given us a list of topics all partners should discuss before even sitting down with a designer.

Follow their advice and you could be one step closer to your dream home!

“We, at HartmanBaldwin, speak to hundreds of couples every year about their remodeling plans and often times we find ourselves in the crossfire of helping two people try to communicate. As with most communication jams the root of the problem is never quite that given topic, it usually goes a little deeper.

When a couple calls about a major home remodel we often start with the simple question of “How long do each of you think you will stay in this home?” It’s very common to get two completely different answers, usually to the astonishment of the couple in question, and therein lays the problem.

One may say, “5 years, then we’d like to retire and buy a place by the beach”, while the other says “I’m not planning on leaving here, I love this place, I’m planning on staying here after we retire.”

Often as couples we focus on the simple questions like “granite or tile?”, “dark or light colored cabinets?”, or “carpet or flooring?” but when we start talking about projects that require a substantial investment and major structural changes then the question of “Is this worth it and why?” becomes the first and hardest to tackle. Questions that are often avoided because of the real life decisions they’ll need to make regarding future plans to sell or move, retire, or part with money.

To start the conversation, begin with a small exercise, in which each of you ranks how much one loves or hates the house you live in, the neighborhood you live in, and then write down the number of years each of you expects to stay in the home. Do the exercise separately and then compare notes. This will let you know if you should start exploring options like selling and moving into a home or neighborhood that better fits your long term goals.

Once you’ve decided that you are planning on staying in the home and want to remodel it’s recommended that you start listing your wants and needs, separately as well. Share your answers once the exercise is complete, but be careful to reserve judgment.

For example, something like moving a wall could seem like an expensive venture but until you truly have the scope outlined and priced out one can’t really tell the true cost of something that may give you the value of your investment.

A few simple rules to follow like listing wants and needs separately and reserving judgment on the listed items can help expedite the communication process so that you can better understand where the other person is coming from. This will make your experience with a designer a more productive one now that both of you are on the same and well on your way to remodeling success.”

HartmanBaldwin Design/Build, is a local Pasadena firm that offers three workshops a year, which are free and open to local residents who are interested in starting this exploratory process. To learn more visit www.hartmanbaldwin.com/events

HartmanBaldwin Design/Build is located at 100 West Foothill Boulevard, Claremont. For more information, call (909) 670-1344 and (626) 486-0510 or visit http://www.hartmanbaldwin.com